If People Bought Cars Like Computers:

General Motors doesn't have a help line for people who don't know how to drive, because people don't buy cars like they buy computers, but imagine if they did....

HelpLine: "General Motors HelpLine, how can I help you?"
Customer: "I got in my car and closed the door and nothing happened!"
HelpLine: "Did you put the key in the ignition slot and turn it?"
Customer: "What's an ignition?"
HelpLine: "It's a starter motor that draws current from your battery and turns over the engine."
Customer: "Ignition?Motor?Battery?Engine?How come I have to know all these technical terms just to use my car?"

HelpLine: "General Motors HelpLine, how can I help you?"
Customer: "My car ran fine for a week and now it won't go anywhere!"
HelpLine: "Is the gas tank empty?"
Customer: "Huh?How do I know?"
HelpLine: "There's a little gauge on the front panel with a needle and markings from 'E' to 'F'.Where is the needle pointing?"
Customer: "It's pointing to 'E'.What does that mean?"
HelpLine: "It means you have to visit a gasoline vendor and purchase some more gasoline.You can install it yourself or pay the vendor to install it for you."
Customer: "What?I paid ,000 for this car!Now you tell me that I have to keep buying more components?I want a car that comes with everything built in!"

HelpLine: "General Motors HelpLine, how can I help you?"
Customer: "Your cars suck!"
HelpLine: "What's wrong?"
Customer: "It crashed, that's what wrong!"
HelpLine: "What were you doing?"
Customer: "I wanted to run faster, so I pushed the accelerator pedal all the way to the floor.It worked for a while and then it crashed and it won't start now!
HelpLine: "It's your responsibility if you misuse the product.What do you expect us to do about it?"
Customer: "I want you to send me one of the latest version that doesn't crash any more!"

HelpLine: "General Motors HelpLine, how can I help you?"
Customer: "Hi, I just bought my first car, and I chose your car because it has automatic transmission, cruise control, power steering, power brakes, and power door locks."
HelpLine: "Thanks for buying our car. How can I help you?"
Customer: "How do I work it?"
HelpLine: "Do you know how to drive?"
Customer: "Do I know how to what?"
HelpLine: "Do you know how to drive?"
Customer: "I'm not a technical person.I just want to go places in my car!"

Taken from:
http://www.pbbt.com/Directory/Jokes/597.html

Interesting Events that Happened when Assigning Passwords in CC...

The system assigns new passwords comprised of letters and characters for the user codes of newly opened accounts or for the passwords that are forgotten. After these passwords are printed in "closed envelopes", they are delivered to users. We would like to share some interesting events that happened during this process...

CC Staff : How can I help you?
User: I'd like to open a user code account.
CC Staff: O.K. Here's your password envelope.
User: (Hesitates for a moment looking at the envelope) Sorry, but where's the password?
CC Staff: ???...Please tear the envelope on the side, then you can read what's inside esaliy.

CC Staff: Here's your password envelope.
User: (Holds the paper towards the light) "I can't read anything, can you?"
CC Staff: ???...!!!

CC Staff: Here's your password envelope.
User: This is such a complex password, it means nothing to me since it does not reflect my character. Please assign a more meaningful password to me.
CC Staff: !!!...

User: (Comes in rush..) My friends told me that you can solve password problems of all kinds. I forgot the pin code of my mobile phone. Can you please help me?
CC Staff: ???...

CC Staff : Here's your password envelope.
User: (Opens the envelope and sees the number 7 in the characters of the password) Shall I enter the number 7 in uppercase or lowercase?
CC Staff : !!!...

CC Staff: How can I help you?(CC Staff checks all the settings of a user telling that he cannot connect to Internet at his home)
User: I still receive an error message saying that connection has not been established yet.
CC Staff: (Trying to solve the problem) Is your modem running? Have you checked it?
User: What is a modem? It is not told to me that I need a modem to establish a connection!

Years ago, without assigning private passwords, new passwords were being assigned to users every week, and the password was the same password for all the users. That week's password was "looktwice".
CC Staff : (After she tells the user his/her user code) Your password is looktwice.
User: (After looking at each other's face briefly ) Shall I continue to look at you?
CC Staff : ???...!!!